Study? Yeah, right.
You haven’t honestly been productive all semester, so why start now?
Never mind that 15-pager that you literally just started, or those 5 chapters of Biology that you need to actually read, here’s what you’ll really be up to on reading day:
1) Accidentally sit in the Caf for like 2 hours:
2) Fall asleep the second you open your Western Traditions book:
3) Throw a bomb-ass rager in Raf’s Tomb (Circa 1996):
4) Drop every single binder and paper from the semester while hurrying across Broadway:
5) Get caught talking shit about Fast 7 in Jazzman’s by Vin Diesel
6) Decimate the British Coast with Dean LoMonaco’s goat, Jonas
7) Get involved in a land war with Asia:
8) Mysteriously switch bodies with your mom as a lesson:
9) Single-handedly topple the government of Ecuador:
10) Make it through this list without TUWIFI disconnecting
Good luck out there.
-Burris Jenkins
The Shambler 