Local Law Firm Announces Mesothelioma Lawsuit for Victims of Forrer Hall Demolition

This week, personal injury lawyer Daryl “The Hammer” Isaacs announced that he would be looking for student plaintiffs in a class action suit seeking compensation for damages endured by students currently living within 100 feet of Forrer Hall. Mesothelioma is a new territory for The Hammer, and this case will be his first step into the field.

“I mean, just look at it; there literally could not be any more dust coming off building, the case basically wrote itself,” The Hammer revealed in an exclusive Shambler interview. “At first I wanted to bid for the demolition contract as ‘The Hammer’, but I realized the real money would be in this litigation as Daryl ‘The Hammer’ Isaacs. Even if they aren’t sick, their class commutes are unbearably long. Someone needed to do something about this.”

“I knew that the alternating boiling and freezing showers, black mold, and my roommate’s mildewy clothes were all a part of the deal, but Mesothelioma – in the air – that is just too much,” a senior Biochemistry major reported. “It’s at least 1 part per billion. That’s significant.”

Despite these allegations, the Transylvania Administration have maintained that the alleged risks of tearing down the building were worth the community that was built there. An anonymous Old Morrison representative went on the record claiming that “those affected will have the bonds they formed in Forrer for the rest of their slightly shortened lives.”

Currently, no students have complained of any complications from the demolition.

Reuben Cave